Weight vs. Utility

The last few days have been pretty eventful, both on and off the trail.
To start with, Darby shared some fun updates from the PCT:

Darby hit 400 miles early this week! To make that accomplishment even more impressive, Darby hit that mile marker after he accidentally trudged his way up a very tricky mountain  and added several miles to his journey in the process. The trail marker is easy to miss (or absent still? http://www.pcta.org/discover-the-trail/trail-condition/broken-marker-trail-delineation-needed-section-d-mile-388/), and Darby found himself at the summit of Mount Williamson around mile 389, instead of descending down the PCT. He's always one to take the road less traveled, and he loves a challenge, so it isn't all that surprising (and I actually wonder whether he subconsciously chose this route because it's almost been a little too easy for him thus far...).

Among his list of accomplishments on the trail this week, Darby also hiked up Baden Powell with his trail friend, Stitch, experienced his first ride in the back of a pick up truck with a bunch of other hikers, and climbed a water tower while exploring what appeared to be a deserted summer camp of sorts. I am happy to report that he managed to get some pretty great shots worthy of framing when he gets home.

Unfortunately, I came across some sad news while reading other PCT blogs; Darby's trail friend, OB, had to leave the trail because he had apparently been walking on a broken foot for a few days, assuming it was only sprained. OB's predicament serves as a reminder of the potential for injury that Darby faces on a regular basis. All of the hikers on the trail put their bodies through so much stress and endure fairly consistent pain or discomfort to pursue their shared goal of finishing the PCT. The mental strength required to keep going, day in and day out, is just as impressive to me as the physical strength that they have to rely on throughout their journey. I'm continuously relieved and impressed that Darby is always in such great spirits despite all of the challenges that I know he has faced, is continuing to face, and will face for the next 2200~ miles.

Darby is currently doing well (as usual!). He  picked up his package at Hiker Heaven in Agua Dulce today after a long 28 mile hike yesterday and cowboy camping 2 miles outside of town by the road (looks luxurious, I know). So far, Hiker Heaven is living up to its name: there are 70+ happy hikers there, everyone is eating, drinking, and relaxing, Darby's getting a ride to REI to get new insoles for his shoes, and ---- wifi and cell service! Looking forward to getting more time to catch up with him later since his next few days look to be service-less.

As for life off the trail this week, I find myself connecting with a struggle contemplated by thru hikers on the PCT, but in a broader and more metaphorical sense: weight vs. utility- how do you strike the proper balance of what to keep and what to ditch when trying to simplify life, and what does this "balance" look like for each individual? 

On the PCT, the weight vs. utility debate is about what to carry in your pack. The gear analysis and base weight determinations are typically contemplated months in advance of embarking on the PCT, as evidenced by Darby's preparation: http://darbyonthepct.blogspot.com/2016/02/the-gear-that-im-bringing.html. Trying to decide what to bring with you and how to minimize weight is an important part of trail preparation, especially in consideration of long waterless stretches that require you to carry more water (=lots more weight!), and usually when it's hottest and you're out in the middle of the desert and unprotected by shade. 

Darby put so much thought into this determination, he actually cut his tooth brush, trimmed extra plastic off his water bottles, and removed anything and everything excessive that could add weight to his pack. When he left, his base weight was around 7 lbs! He considered every ounce that could be added to his weight, knowing that those ounces add up, and he made decisions based on need. This preparation has served him really well and contributed to his fast pace, since he's had to carry so much less than most others on the trail.  Others have chosen to carry different items or add weight in ways that Darby didn't because they found the utility of the items they chose were worth the added weight. Sometimes, trial and error on the trail changes the minds of hikers, and people find themselves ditching items in hiker boxes or shipping things home when their utility can't justify their weight. In other cases, people choose to add weight later on if/when they feel like they're missing something they chose to forgo originally but later realized are worth the added weight. The items can be vital (such as carrying bear canisters for food after leaving Kennedy meadows, or bringing an ice ax for the Sierras), or personal items with sentimental value worth carrying, or they can simply be extra consumables worth the temporary added weight until consumed (like celebratory drinks or extra desserts for big mile markers and special occasions). 

The common trail mantra is "hike your own hike", and each hiker makes personal choices regarding the weight vs. utility analysis. Some choose to carry greater weight and accept the physical burden in favor of  the utility or comfort (physical or emotional) provided by something they choose to bring with them. Some, like Darby, take the minimalist approach and simplify as much as possible in favor of carrying a less burdensome load. 

This week, I packed up and moved the rest of my belongings into my place in Orlando. As I packed, I looked around at all of the stuff I've accumulated, and I thought about this weight vs. utility equation I keep reading about on PCT blogs. This is my fourth move this year, and I still have way too much unnecessary stuff. While packing things up for the fourth time, I ended up selling or giving away a bunch of things that weren't worth the weight. 

Some of those decisions were easy: no one needs 5 plain black t shirts (even if the collars or shades of black are slightly different); no one needs 6 black tank tops; I definitely don't need the same collared shirt in every color it's made in, no matter how much my mom loved the first one she saw on me (which prompted her to buy the rest of the color options as holiday gifts)- and this is especially true if the tags are still on them! 

Some decisions were a little trickier. On the trail, it's strictly about necessity; you can only carry what you can fit on your back and still hike (relatively) comfortably wearing, so you whittle down your weight to what feels truly necessary, whatever your reasons for needing the items you're packing. Off the trail, with more places to put things, it's easier to fall into this trap of amassing things for sentimental or fleeting reasons, and it's hard to let go or make the time to just weed through things and eliminate things that just waste space. 

I have cleaned out my closet at least a half dozen times this year (with the multiple moves, and with Darby's sister, Bekkah, and sister in law, Caroline, assisting in improving my wardrobe by getting rid of everything that went out of fashion 10-15 years ago); and yet, I still find myself with clothes I haven't worn in over a year and will likely never wear again (or ever, for those items that still have tags on them).  I thought about why I've held on to some of these things. In some cases, it's because I'm a saver. I mean this in the sense that when I buy something I absolutely love, I save it for a very special occasion because I'm afraid I'll ruin it before such a special occasion arises. Usually, no occasion ever feels special enough, and my favorite article of clothing never gets worn. I thought about what this "saving" pattern says about my self esteem, and I realized it means two things: 1) I don't trust myself not to ruin things (to be fair, I am hopelessly messy/uncoordinated when eating, and I did earn the nickname Calamity Jane as a kid because of my proclivity for falling/injuring myself/breaking things); and 2) I need to work on my sense of self worth so I don't need a special occasion to wear something that makes me feel my best. In other cases, I hold on to things because I'm convinced there will come a day when I will want or need a particular article of clothing (either because they're for a larger version of me, and I fear putting back on weight that I lost last year; or because I'm convinced the other similar go-to item in my closet will disappear or be destroyed by me, and I will need this nearly identical item to replace it on that ill-fated day. Seriously, I have two identical pairs of my favorite pair of pants, just in case my regular pair gets destroyed somehow and the store never makes those pants again). Question I asked myself after contemplating these relics in my closet: why am I so worried something bad will happen? 

What started out as a simple move from West Palm Beach to Orlando first transitioned into a contemplation of weight vs. utility, then became a journey to eliminate things that are weighing me down physically and metaphorically, and it finally resulted in a reflection on myself and the conclusion that I need to make some changes to better myself. 

The pep talk I have since given myself: 1) stop worrying so much. All that worrying is just adding extra unnecessary weight, and no one needs extra weight - on or off the trail; 2) be kinder to yourself and have more confidence in your abilities! All that self-doubt is just adding even more extra weight and holding you back from being the best version of yourself! Goal to keep in mind: stay Darby-level positive and keep moving forward!

Overall, this week was pretty positive off the trail, in that it really helped me do some more self-reflection toward self-improvement. Self-improvement is tricky, though. I was catching up with one of my closest friends today, Gabi, and I discovered that my effort to be a better friend has actually made me a more distant friend and hurt our friendship. My sister gave me some advice a while back to listen more and talk less with friends, so I've been trying to do that; asking how people are doing and not openly sharing as much unless specifically asked about thing for the most part. However, in the process, entire chunks of my life have ended up kept from Gabi because she couldn't possibly know to ask about something that I wasn't bringing up without being prompted. She didn't even know that Darby and I are dating! I felt so dumbstruck and silly for this completely unnecessary oversight. I assumed I had told her at some point, and when we would catch up and she didn't ask about it, I didn't bring it up because I assumed it was boring or she didn't want to chat about him; apparently I never even told her- so how could she know to ask how things were going? That was a giant wake up call that perhaps I should start working on a better balance. Friendship isn't 100% listening, just like it isn't 100% talking; it should be a nice even mix so real bonding and sharing can occur. If you're reading this Gabi, sorry I dropped the ball! I'll work on this 50/50 friendship mix (the message I wrote on treats sent to Darby on the trail comes to mind: Sharing is caring! Time to take my own advice!)

Lastly, a final update from off the trail regarding my health: saw the new doctor today yesterday. He was pretty brisk and not exactly a warm and fuzzy, hold your hand, A+ bedside manner kind of guy on his first impression. However, he got me right in for a colonoscopy this morning, so he was moving forward- which I definitely appreciate! The prep last night was atrocious. I got violently ill, lots of vomiting (sorry for the details), and was worried it didn't work since I didn't keep it down and I'd have to reschedule and drink the nasty prep stuff again. Thankfully, Darby had cell service on his little patch of land by the road last night, and he comforted me over the phone and made me feel a lot better while I suffered through the night. I was also really relieved this morning to find out that the doctor would go ahead with the procedure. As an added bonus, my good friend Taylor W. dropped everything to be my ride to and from the surgical center. She kept me well entertained on the way there with pictures of birds and wildlife that she has been taking on walks around central Florida, and I'm dying to go with her next time to get some good outdoor exercise and be around nature again.

As for this morning's procedure, the new doctor, Dr. Levine with Center for Digestive Health in Orlando, made an AMAZING second impression. Not only was the entire office incredible to me from the moment I stepped in the door, but Dr. Levine was both kind and clearly on top of his game as soon as I got into the procedure room. The first thing he said to me was that he had considered my goal to be able to do some of the trail with Darby later this summer, and it gave him lots of ideas and ruled out some medications because of the need to refrigerate those medications. I really appreciated that he went home and thought about my case and how best to help me and my particular needs and goals. The colonoscopy went okay... I woke up from a nice little nap and was told my colitis had in fact spread and was worse than in December, but Dr. Levine had a plan! I have new meds to start tonight and see him again next week to check in and hopefully keep moving forward. Fingers crossed I start seeing some improvement and not too many side effects! With any luck, I'll be able to visit Darby on the trail by end of July or August and hike part of Oregon or Washington with him. I'm definitely looking forward to his break from the trail and visit home (because of my health, it's looking like this vacation will have to be a staycation and Belize will be put on hold), and will hopefully be feeling much better by the time he gets back!

Current mood: Darby level positive +1 ; Chilly level tired

First Trail Reunion

First Trail Reunion!!

Locations:
Darby= Cajon Pass - Ontario - Cajon Pass - Wrightwood
Me = Orlando - LAX -  Ontario - Cajon Pass - LAX - Orlando
Zero Days:
4
Verdict:
SUCCESS!

Just motivating to sit down and write this blog entry has been harder than with any of the other entries. Writing this is a bit of a struggle because it means I have to admit the perfect PCT reunion is over, and I have to go back to life (and real world responsibilities) Off the PCT, while Darby resumes his immersion in life On the PCT. It's also a challenging entry because so much has happened in the last week that I'm dying to share (but I also don't want to overshare/turn this entry into a novel), and I've wrestled with how best to present the latest updates to anyone reading. Chronologically seems the most... logical, so here goes:

Last I left off, Darby was in Ontario, having fun and being taken care of by the wonderful iFly family out there. He also ended up running into another good friend of his, Eric S.(stuntman/BASE jumper), and they had fun playing in the tunnel and catching up over cookies and ice cream at a bar (no joke- Darby ordered cookies and ice cream at a bar because he is, clearly, perfect for me).

I arrived at LAX Tuesday morning, and after picking up my rental car, I was in Ontario by early afternoon. Initial thoughts: The trail looks great on him.

Darby looks mostly the same, though a little scruffier. He also looks strangely rested for a man who has been walking 20+ miles a day.  Upon closer examination, he has some interesting new tan lines. Darby's neck and hands are about 10 shades darker than the rest of him. He keeps just about everything else covered up for sun protection in the desert.

After dropping my stuff off at the hotel - which was conveniently right across the street from the new iFly tunnel (A+ move, Darby!)- we headed to In 'n Out Burger so I could finally try the famous burgers I've heard so much about. I still think Five Guys makes a better burger, but their shake was pretty tasty, and I was starving after the long flight so it was all gone in a flash. Unfortunately, my pesky ulcerative colitis wasn't nearly as psyched about In 'n Out Burger. After eating and (sort of) digesting, we headed over to the tunnel to say hi and make plans to fly.

It wouldn't do them justice to say the iFly family at the new Ontario tunnel showed us hospitality; they were phenomenal. Chris R. graciously let us fly some of his staff time, and we had a blast playing around in the tunnel with Chris and Nikki B. (both formerly of the Orlando tunnel, and just generally wonderful humans). We also ended up splitting the cost of an hour of standby time to share over the next few days. It's an awesome deal, and - after accounting for the shared staff time we were gifted - we got to fly a half hour each day we were there! By the end of our time in Ontario, there was a drastically noticeable difference in my flying, and I am so appreciative of all of the help from everyone at iFly (Chris, Nikki, Brad, and Darby especially).

When people say a fast tunnel feels different, they really aren't exaggerating. As Nikki said, it's like "She's hugging you" (She= the wind). She is also incredibly powerful and gave me a serious run for my money the first day when I tried to adjust to how much faster and smoother She is (weirdly feels and looks a little slippery?) but just looked like a scared, uncoordinated mess. Adjusting to the difference took some time and was a little frustrating at first, but once I got more comfortable, we were flying in groups and playing new games in the tunnel. I had my first attempts at flying lines (following Darby) and flying in a group (with Darby, Nikki, and Chris), and I loved every second of it. Our time in the Ontario tunnel was truly unforgettable fun.
Some pictures/highlights from the tunnel:

Darby and Nikki outside the tunnel

  

Fun tunnel pictures from flying with Nikki, Chris, and Darby (oops, forgot where the camera was)

 

Enjoying iFly Ontario with Darby

As you can tell from the pictures, iFly Ontario is stunning and SO.MUCH.FUN.

While in Ontario, we also enjoyed the Mills Mall, also in walking distance of the hotel. We discovered a really amazing seafood restaurant called the Market Broiler. I say "discovered" because no one we asked had any suggestions for good seafood in the Ontario area, and we were beyond impressed by what we found at the Market Broiler. They not only had fresh delicious seafood (including some of the best salmon and halibut I've ever tried), but they also started us off with the single best spinach dip EVER. It was served with fresh sourdough bread with melted cheese, and the entire meal was heavenly. We wandered around the mall after, found some ice cream for dessert (obviously), and took some goofy but appropriate pictures in a photo booth. My stomach held up okay under the circumstances, but I honestly couldn't have cared less about the consequences because it all tasted so incredible I knew it would be worth whatever the outcome. Date night out in Ontario was a definite success. I would go back in a heartbeat. 

On Thursday, after we finished using up our tunnel time, we headed up to Cajon Pass, where Darby would rejoin the trail in the morning. We stayed at the Best Western with a bunch of other PCT hikers, and I loved getting a little glimpse of what that life is like while he's out there. The staff at the Best Western was absolutely wonderful to the hikers, collecting resupply packages, leaving out hiker boxes, and providing unlimited iced lemon water, breakfast, and smiles to everyone who stopped by. Darby checked the registry to see if any of his friends had come through, but even with the time off with me, he's still ahead of most of the people he's met. We did run into someone he met (who I read about weeks ago on another hiker's blog, as well) when we stopped at the gas station/Subway across from the hotel. The hiker, Focus, was exactly as described, and it was exciting to meet someone I had read about and heard about through Darby's eyes and the blog of a stranger. I told him I heard/read about him, and he let me know about his blog (http://thoughtthru.com/) so I can continue to follow him, too.

We hung out at the Best Western pool for a while and got to know some of the others staying there that night while Darby did his laundry, but after a few zeroes with me, Darby looked and felt too clean to be a hiker, and I could tell he was ready to get back on the trail so he could once again be dirty, tired, and perfectly content in his element. We finished up at the pool, and Darby got back into PCT-mode. Darby finished up his laundry and laid out everything from his pack to reassess what he had and what he would need for a resupply before picking back up in the morning. We checked out the hiker box to see if it had anything he needed, and we marveled at the amount of barely worn sneakers in the boxes. Darby's packages from Amazon had arrived at the hotel as planned, and he was able to repair his broken poles and cut a new groundsheet for sleeping (he ripped his old one). The gas station in walking distance and the hiker box weren't quite enough for Darby's resupply, though, since he was planning on going forward for the next 4-5 days without stopping in Wrightwood. We made good use of the rental car and drove 13ish miles to Walmart to get everything he needed. As much as I've loved putting together packages for him at home, it was even more fun going through the motions with him in person. We had a blast and made good use of our time before heading back to eat some dinner, reorganize and repack all of Darby's things, and relax with some television to enjoy our last night together.

Getting up in the morning to say goodbye and drop Darby off at the trail was rough, to say the least. I was sad to see him go, but it was a perfect trip and there were only smiles - no tears - when we went our separate ways again.

As soon as I drove away, I started thinking about the next visit during my long drive into LA. Traffic was a disaster, and I worried I would miss my flight. I made it with no issues, though, and then promptly passed out as soon as the safety announcements were made on the flight. I woke up an hour later only to discover we were still on the runway. The plane had mechanical difficulties, and we were stranded for a while on the plane while it was dealt with. All of the food I consumed the last couple days hit me at the worst possible time, and it was pretty stressful being trapped.

I had lots of negative, crappy thoughts about the turn of events after dropping Darby off, but it turned out to be a little bit of a blessing in disguise. When the plane let us deboard to get lunch after a 2 hour delay, I ended up getting a call from Darby! He had some service after doing about 12 miles, and I loved the extra time to chat while I waited on my flight. No big surprise here, Darby said he was feeling great and enjoying the trail again. Once my plane was fixed, it was time to head back to Florida and to say goodbye to Darby again.

When I arrived back in Florida, I heard from Darby with some less than stellar news. He had his first real trail dilemma: chafing. It's apparently pretty common after a few zeros, but the fact that it's not unusual makes it no less uncomfortable for Darby. He was in misery, pushing through over 10 miles in pain. He stopped at a campground for the night and found a kind trail angel who said he would drive him into Wrightwood in the morning. It was his first delay/change of plans on the trail because of a health issue, and I could tell Darby was disappointed.

Despite the setback, as with everything else so far since he started the PCT, Darby found the positive in his situation. He took the zero in Wrightwood, got extra food to cover the day he lost hiking, researched logistics for getting around the endangered frog species closure of the PCT, and found a great place to stay (thank heavens for trail angels!) with about 15 other hikers. The group sounds like an interesting fun bunch, including a couple (Ashley and Stitch) with homemade bags. Stitch has a company where he stitches (creative trail name...) backpacks for hiking. A picture of his logo and bag are included here.

The trail angel housing the bunch loaned them his truck so they could go out for dinner. They found a place with live music for entertainment, and Darby sounded like he was having a blast when he called to check in and say goodnight since he knew it would be pretty late here by the time he finished up with them. Despite the setback and discomfort yesterday, things are looking up, and Darby's attitude is as bright as ever. He'll be starting back up on the trail again in the morning to pick up where he left off, hopefully keeping a strong pace to stay on track for a break early in June while snow melts. All is well that ends well, and no complaints from either of us, on or off the Trail.

One last note worth mentioning: Darby told me today about a woman, Heather Anderson, who has the FKT (fastest known time) for completing the Appalachian Trail unsupported, and I found a Ted Talk by her that I absolutely love and feel compelled to share. It's called "Redefining Happily Ever After", and I found it both relatable and inspiring. She was turning 30, married, with a good job, the life that was the "happily ever after" she was raised to believe would make her happy, and realized she wasn't happy after all. She decided that she had to pursue what "happily ever after" meant on her own terms.  For her, the challenge, mindfulness, self-acceptance, and learning to be present in the moment that she gains from hiking make her happy.  Hiking the AT in under 60 days isn't the journey or the fairy tale ahead for me, but her story sounds eerily familiar. Hearing her talk struck a chord with me because of the ways that skydiving has helped me to grow, and because of the many empowering and exciting changes I have made to my life since I first set off for my solo adventure in New Zealand a year ago, and then came back with the passion for skydiving that I can no longer imagine my life without.

I absolutely LOVE the takeaway from her talk and highly recommend giving it a listen.
"It is not easy and it is not painless to take control of your own destiny. But having the courage to write your own fairy tale each and every day is what defines success for me." Check it out if you have the time:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgDeh2XDNY4&feature=youtu.be&app=desktop

Cajon Pass (already?!)

This week has been a bit of a whirlwind, and there are lots of updates from on and off the PCT, but I need to start with the big milestone:

Darby hit 300 miles already! He has been blowing through miles and making it look effortless this week. In fact, Darby actually made it to Cajon Pass today, though he originally didn't anticipate reaching Cajon until later this week. More on that later, but I'll start where the last post left off with some updates:

Darby left Ziggy and the Bear's to return to the trail after the fire closure. From there, he ended up with some pretty decent cell service when he had the town of Big Bear in sight, so we got to talk a bunch while he walked. The pictures he sent from the trail show what an incredibly diverse landscape he encounters with each mile. A sampling of what he experienced over the last 70ish miles (he hit 342 when he stopped in Cajon Pass today):

 

 

Also, little shout out to Lydia and OB (pictured here). I enjoyed reading Lydia's blog on the PCT journalist website before Darby encountered them. Darby told me he met the two of them on the trail the other day (her blog is here http://appalachiantrials.com/hitting-the-200-mile-marker-vs-scoring-in-n-out-burger/).  I recognized the names and was excited to be able to put a face to a name. Seeing the blogs of strangers come to life through Darby's encounters has become a fun game for me. I love when he crosses paths with these strangers who I feel like I have come to know through reading.  It feels like a weird, ultra-nerdy PCT celebrity sighting.  Technology may have its downsides, but I'm really appreciating how well-connected it's keeping us despite all of the distance and lifestyle differences right now.

I am happy to report that Darby is prepared, healthy, and consistently positive about every aspect of his journey. Darby exudes a chipper, energized vibe (even after hiking 10 miles before lunch!), and I leave every phone call with him radiating in that happy glow he gives off. Hearing from him with so much frequency the last few days has meant I have been gushing to anyone and everyone willing to listen about how proud I am of his latest accomplishments. I'm fairly certain it's getting annoying to friends and even casual acquaintances at this point, but I can't help but share the excitement: he's 342 miles into the PCT, relatively pain free, and taking everything in stride with the most incredible attitude! Everything appeared to be going as well as it possibly could be... and then I was proven wrong, because in fact things are even better than I imagined- all because of the fast pace Darby has kept this week. 

Before I can explain those developments, I have to backtrack slightly to some Off the PCT updates. I've continued losing weight (unintentionally - because of this frustrating inability to tolerate food), and last week was a little rough for me. I struggled with nausea and pretty consistent discomfort, making it difficult to eat to get any calories to resolve that whole tired/no energy issue. Every day going into work to teach was a physical struggle, and it felt less worth the sacrifice when the students seemed apathetic to any kind of instruction. With the AP exam upon them and the end of the year around the corner, they had mostly checked out and were no longer interested in learning anything new. I didn't feel like I was offering them anything by being there (particularly in a less-energized state), and it was physically and emotionally draining for me to keep going in to teach when I was feeling so sick. Friday was my last day teaching. I have some mixed emotions about it, of course; I'll miss a lot of the students, and many of them made all of the sacrifices worthwhile, but I'm also optimistic about being freed up to take care of my health. I also hoped that eliminating the stress of the school would help my stomach issues and give me a chance to eat and maybe get some pep back in my step. The goodbyes at school were tough with some of the kids who I was genuinely invested in, but I know it was the right decision to move on and re-prioritize.
Here are some pictures of the kiddos on my last day:

 

(any guesses who my three biggest troublemakers were in that last class...?)

So, with school behind me, and with Darby speeding along the trail making better time than anticipated, we decided to switch up the plans for my trip. I'm leaving on Tuesday morning to meet him in Ontario, and excited does not begin to describe how I'm feeling about that news! Darby arrived in Cajon Pass around lunchtime, and after downing possibly the single weirdest McDonald's concoction ever made, he received a ride from a very kind and generous mother of another hiker he met. He was dropped off at the new iFly tunnel in Ontario, and some of the guys there (Curtis in particular) are taking great care of him- giving him a couch to crash on and time to fly in the super-fast, sparkly new tunnel until I get there Tuesday morning! 
In case anyone is curious about his McDonald's meal, Darby was starving after hiking 12ish miles, and he ordered chicken, fish, and a big mac, and he created a mega-sandwich, then used the extra bread and lettuce to create a french-fry sandwich (as a palate cleanser?).  Hiker Hunger strikes again!

I know he seems totally famished here, but he did let me know that the dehydrated ground beef worked out really well for some dinners the last couple nights (with mac n cheese one night and spaghetti and tomato sauce another). I'll definitely be making use of the dehydrator again after I get back from California. Woohoo back from California! I don't know that it's really sunken in yet that I get to go visit Darby out west in a day and a half, and the next time I post to this blog will be post-visit! Exciting stuff :)

While Darby was busy working his way through 20+ mile days all weekend, I enjoyed a few off the trail pleasures. I slept in Saturday (and then got caught up on the phone with Darby later that morning- more on that update in a second!)  but eventually made it out to get a couple jumps in this weekend at DeLand. All that tunnel time is making such a huge difference in my flying! Unfortunately, you can't practice exiting an airplane in the tunnel, so that's definitely an area in need of a LOT of improvement... Here are a few pictures from this weekend's skydiving fun:

To top off a great Saturday afternoon jumping, new roommate Kristen got me into the tunnel to fly after! As weird as this may sound to people who don't skydive, jumping really relaxes me,  and my stomach felt calm for the first time in a while. With all the exercise from flying, I also ended up  finally feeling really hungry and ready to eat.

Saturday was a great day off the trail, even without taking into account the best news of the day: Darby is making such great time, he appears to be two weeks ahead of schedule and may need to take a little time off the trail in June! He's on track to hit Kennedy Meadows by June 1st, but he can't start the High Sierras until after the snow melts a couple weeks after that. When he called Saturday, he filled me in on the news and we excitedly started planning a mini-vacation if/when he needs to take a little trail hiatus to kill time for the snow melting.

I never even considered this could be a possibility during his 4-5 month adventure, so I'm over the moon thrilled about the prospect of time with him next month! We can't set anything in motion or make any solid plans yet for a couple reasons: 1. not sure if/when he'll be at Kennedy Meadows; and 2. I see the new doctor on May 18 and can't make any plans until I have a better idea what my health situation is. Even so, thinking about taking a little 4-5 day trip with Darby sounds fantastic. I don't know that I've stopped smiling since he told me. We're leaning toward Belize right now, since I've always wanted to go,  it would be a great mix of adventure (zip lining, cave rappelling, hiking) and relaxation (beach, pool, rainforest sounds), and it's the low season so it's a good time to travel there price-wise; however, if it turns out we can't travel anywhere because of my health stuff, then we'll make the most of a fun Florida stay-cation in whatever time he can take off the trail. So. Freakin. Excited.

So what's next?
Step 1: Visit Darby in Ontario!!
Step 2: Finish moving my stuff to Orlando
Step 3: See the doctor and get a new plan in place to get healthy!
Step 4: Plan a trip to Belize?!?!
Step 5: Make another awesome care package and dehydrate some stuff
Step 6: Job interview


Current mood: Darby-level positive and optimistic! Everything is looking awesome moving forward.

Ziggy and the Bear

*edit: cannot believe I published this without starting with the first bit of big news from the trail: Darby hit the 200 mile mark!! He's making it seem so effortless (it definitely isn't), but he really deserves a little celebrating for all of his hard work and his latest accomplishment! While he was off being supremely awesome...

It was a bit of a rough day Off the PCT for me and for Chilly, but it helps knowing Darby is doing better than ever On the PCT. A call from him as he walked into a town for the night really lifted my spirits.

Since I was able to tolerate some cereal for dinner the night before, I felt adventurous and tried for a second bowl for breakfast yesterday morning. Darby had, after all, just downed chicken wings, chili cheese fries, ice cream, and two dried scorpions (they're salty, in case you're curious) in Idyllwild, so I should be able to handle a couple bowls of cereal over a 24 hour period, right? Not so much. It turned out to be a poor choice, and I had a rough day at school pushing through it. I was particularly frustrated with my situation, seeing the total lack of effort from my students while I struggled through the day to try to prepare them for the AP exam next week.

It's getting harder and harder to motivate to keep working the next 10 days, with the physical and mental sacrifices I'm making because I care about my students' preparation and education, when I keep facing disappointment over their lack of interest in investing in their preparation and education, too. I graded essays yesterday, and out of 38 AP students, only 8 of them bothered to even attempt all three practice AP essays that I had them do in class last week. Most of them just scrawled discouraged statements like "I don't care" or "I can't do this" all over their blank pages. As I held back my nausea and made some frequent and unpleasant bathroom breaks (seriously, teenagers have disturbing hygiene in those high school bathrooms! Was I ever that bad??), the kids just wanted to sit around and chat and beg me for the candy they know I keep around to reward extra-special behavior. I tried to give more pep talks and essay writing tips  (especially suggestions for not getting discouraged or quitting the second a question looks challenging), but they said they just wanted to quiz each other with flashcards. I was feeling pretty unnecessary in class, and I struggled with whether I should keep pushing through to teach when there doesn't seem to be much more they can or want to gain from my instruction at this point in their preparation.

As I slogged through the door after a disappointing and uncomfortable day, I was welcomed to the stench of Chilly's equally distressing day. More diarrhea for her. Swell. Instead of taking care of myself when I got home, I spent the next hour trying to clean up her mess with toilet paper since I am out of paper towels and didn't want to replace them with only 2 weeks left in this apartment. Poor Chilly looked so distraught, and all she wanted was a walk and some dinner for her trouble.

After an oddly relaxing walk with her in the rain, I planned to get a little packing done and catch up on the phone with some friends. I was optimistic that Darby might get some service last night and call to check in, and he didn't disappoint!

He hiked to the summit of Mt. Jacinto after walking 11 miles on Monday afternoon, and despite my review of other blogs that made it sound daunting, Darby found it to be a pretty enjoyable walk, and not all that challenging. His positive can-do attitude impresses me so much. He let me know that the cookies and jerky helped his trek, and his fellow hiker friends gave my brown sugar chocolate chip cookies a thumbs up. I loved hearing that I could help in some way.

Darby enjoyed some snow on the trail up, and then he had a long 22 mile stretch downhill and into the next town to stay at a famous PCT hiker hostel called Ziggy and the Bear.  The picture included is of Mt. Jacinto, looking back on it after he got to town.

The last 5 miles or so of that hike was on a mostly level but sandy road toward town, and he had great service while in sight of the interstate. This meant we were able to talk for a good stretch of his walk, and he could fill me in on all the sights and experiences of the last 24 hours. He's such a great story-teller, and I love hearing his perspective on the trail (especially after reading about the perspectives of some other hikers on the aggregation of blogs the PCTA puts together). Darby's view is - by far- the most optimistic and laid back of everything I've read. He takes everything in stride, continues to be relatively pain free and in great shape out there, and he is loving all that the trail has to offer. We talked a bit about all of his reasons for doing the trail and for wanting to finish it, and I'm so endlessly impressed at his motivations and his commitment, even if it means I don't get to see him nearly as often as I'd like.

I am incredibly excited to get out there and visit him, though! We talked a bit about the desire for me to join him on the trail for a bit at some point, and I'm growing increasingly frustrated that I'm just not well enough physically at this point to think about it. I could handle pain, discomfort, etc., and he said he wouldn't mind slowing down because of my stomach issues if it meant I were with him out there, but I just can't consume the calories needed to do that amount of physical work right now. I feel faint half the time because of how nutrient deprived I've been, and I can't imagine throwing in a 20 mile hike under this physical stress. I'm anxious to start treatment under this new specialist in Orlando so I can get my health under control. I really miss enjoying food, and I want to be able to do so much more physically that requires food/fuel that I simply can't provide my body with until my colitis is under control. I'm not thrilled with my body for holding me back, but I'm staying optimistic that there's a resolution in sight if I can just hold out another two weeks.

A few more updates on Darby and his adventure:

Ziggy and the Bear seems like a pretty great Trail Angel hostel. Ziggy and the Bear are an elderly couple that are kind, generous, and open their home to PCT hikers, graciously sharing wifi, a roof, and some other creature comforts. They have a big patio for hikers to stay on, there were a bunch of people all crashing there for the night, and they all ordered pizza and hung out. Lights out early at 9 pm, but that worked out just fine for a little good night chat on the phone before bed (3 hours later here...and to be honest, I was actually half asleep when he called that time, and I may have been a little out of it).

Also, it was fun to hear that Darby ran into someone whose blog I have been following! http://hikingwithjason.com/day-11-a-short-day-out-of-idyllwild/ Jason has been blogging pretty regularly and seems to get great service on the trail. He's also just about on pace with Darby, so it's been really fun seeing his pictures and getting some insight on things Darby will experience or has experienced with about a day preview or delay based on whether they're a little ahead or behind each other on a particular day. I had posted on Jason's blog to tell "Tommy Lee Jones" I say 'hi', in case they ran into each other, and Jason made sure to do so when they met at Ziggy and the Bear's.

I love this stretch of the trail where he gets service and we can talk more frequently. He takes a bus today because of the lake fire closure on the way to Big Bear, so I should hear from him when he gets to town later this afternoon. He has his next package waiting for him at the Big Bear Hostel, but I think he may be a bit oversupplied at the moment because of how quickly he's moving right now. We discussed where he will likely be at this rate next week when I get in, and we're not quite sure whether he'll be at Cajon Pass or Wrightwood. I read on the blog of someone who has just passed Cajon Pass that he definitely won't want to resupply there because of how uphill it is, and because of how much water he'll need to carry. It's a better idea for him to plan on doing Cajon Pass in a day without extra food to carry, and then to resupply once he gets down into Wrightwood. If he's moving quickly enough to make it to Wrightwood, maybe I can take him to get supplies in a town when I'm there, and we can save money on shipping. It's fun planning and figuring out what makes the most sense for him as he navigates along this journey. I love being included, and he's really made me feel like his partner on this PCT adventure, even if I can't physically be there for the 2600+ miles he's pushing through. Did I mention I'm really proud of him?? I think he may be the most physically and mentally prepared (and positive) hiker out there, and he has everything he needs to get where he wants to go.

All in all, it was a really positive check in with Darby, and I'm looking forward to his next update! 

Idyllwild

I really wanted to name this post something cheesy (i.e., a really obvious play on words like "idling a while in Idyllwild"), but since Idyllwild is currently my favorite town on the PCT, I decided it deserved to stand alone as the title for this post.

In case it's hard to keep track of the many stops Darby has made in the last 179 miles, Idyllwild is the town where Darby will be receiving his super special package (resupply goods, including my first attempt at homemade jerky, plus other dehydrated treats and meals, and lots of homemade cookies). I let Darby know that the package would be delivered to the Idyllwild Post Office at 3 pm on Saturday, but we weren't expecting him to get there until Monday or Tuesday, depending on weather and how his body was feeling with all of the stress from the trail.

My understanding was that I would not be hearing anything from him until he got into town sometime early in the week, and I had lots planned for the weekend.  On Friday, I packed up a bunch of my things and started moving (part 1) into the Orlando condo. Kristen planned to move her things in Friday as well, and I was really excited about starting off the weekend with some roommate bonding. After I unpacked, I met up with Kristen and a bunch of other fun iFly folks at STP to celebrate Jackie's last night in Orlando before her move down to Fort Lauderdale. It was a great night out, and if it's any indication of what this summer has in store, I'm really looking forward to living in Orlando full time (and living with Kristen is going to be a great fit!).

I had plans to go skydiving on Saturday morning (today marks 1 year from when I received my A license!) , but when I woke up, it was like all of the energy had been drained out of me while I slept. I think not slowing down at all this week, despite the infection taking its toll on my body, caught up with me that morning. Since I still haven't been able to tolerate much food (if any), I was feeling really weak and generally pretty crappy, and I decided I needed a day off to give my body a chance to rest. I missed the sky, but I knew it was the right decision to take a "zero" day. On the PCT, a Zero is a day spent walking exactly zero miles (a nero is a day spent walking nearly zero miles). This was my Off the PCT equivalent: not jumping, not socializing, not trying to tick obligations off of a check list. Though I had "zero" to show for my day (which generally makes me feel guilty), I was listening to what my body needed, and I knew it was the right decision. I didn't realize just how well-timed this decision was until I got up from my nap around 7pm.

Shortly after I woke up, Darby texted! He was missing me on the trail and decided to book it to Idyllwild (22 miles in one day, all before 4 pm!) so he would be in a town with service and we could talk. Darby couldn't make it into town in time to get the package on Saturday, but he planned to take a zero day of his own on Sunday so we could really catch up and reconnect this weekend. His timing couldn't have been more perfect.  Hearing from Darby was exactly what I needed after an otherwise downer day spent feeling icky, and knowing how hard he worked to get into town made me feel really appreciated and loved.  I can't wait for him to get that package tomorrow when the Post Office opens!

We spent a lot of the day on facetime or on the phone, and it felt almost like a real visit to see him. I can't wait to get out there in < 2 weeks! The quality time spent talking this weekend while we both took zero days makes Idyllwild my favorite stop on the trail for him so far. With how I was feeling physically, and with Darby so accessible over the phone the last 24 hours, I didn't accomplish much of anything this weekend off of my to do list. A few notable exceptions to my Zero day(/weekend?): 15 minutes of tunnel time with Carney (such an amazing coach!), iFly fun on Friday night, some bags unpacked at the condo, and completion of a package I'll be mailing out tomorrow for Darby (to arrive in Big Bear at the end of the week). Overall, I love both Idyllwild and the occasional zero day (though not so much the feeling crappy part of the weekend).

Here are some pictures and stuff summing up the highlights of the weekend:

Pictures 1, 2 & 3: Darby at Silver Pines Lodge (which is an awesome deal -- highly recommend it!)

Pictures 4 & 5: 

Art in Idyllwild

Pictures 6 & 7: Tommy Lee Jones making it on the wall at Idyllwild Pizza Co.

 Picture 8:  Package stuff for Big Bear Hostel delivery

** Two edits to add: Received a letter from Darby on the PCT, and it definitely did NOT disappoint! Also, Darby received the Idyllwild package, devoured a bunch of cookies, and actually enjoyed the jerky! I'm not feeling great physically, still, but otherwise all is well on the home-front and on the trail!

Feeling Accomplished- On and Off the PCT!

Darby and I both hit some exciting milestones today; his were obviously more literal and momentous, so I'll cover those highlights first.

 I knew he was set to hit the 100 mile mark yesterday, and - though I was not entirely sure I would hear from him again before he gets to Idyllwild early next week - I was cautiously optimistic that he might have some service or wifi in Warner Springs so I could congratulate him on this first big - literal - milestone. As luck would have it, he had wifi!  Darby even had a chance to update his blog today (darbyonthepct.blogspot.com) while stopped in town, so I won't get into too much detail here.

I treasured the FaceTime conversations we had while he was in town, and his beaming smile made it worth the wait. I also felt particularly special and warm and fuzzy inside when Darby told me he got up early and hiked alone to get to town as quickly as possible, so he would have extra time there to talk to me. Be still my heart.  I was a little bummed, though, when he informed me the package I sent last week to the Warner Springs Post Office hadn't arrived.  Fortunately, he said they'll send those forward to the next stop for free, and he wasn't remotely concerned.

Darby (or "Tommy Lee Jones", if we're using his trail name) is in great shape, continuing to make friends wherever he goes, and is having an overall incredible experience. With over 100 miles behind him now, I sincerely believe that Darby's positive outlook and the way he appreciates every challenge the trail throws at him (be it wind, rain, or snow, apparently) will carry him through to the end. I couldn't be happier for or prouder of him right now, even when he's over 2000 miles away (and 2600 trail-miles away from coming home).

At the end of our last conversation,  as he was on his way out of the town of Julian, Darby left me with the following images:
 
Picture number 1: (not Darby's blister! He's still blister-free) Another thru-hiker at his hotel had brutal blisters, and Darby did something completely indicative of his character: he put down his celebratory rum and left the social gathering in his room to be useful and helpful to a stranger. Looking at this image and hearing about his experience, I was reminded of something that happened the weekend before Darby left. He did something that, frankly, surprised me much more than it should have, knowing the kind of man Darby is. After we passed a car on the side of the road that had run out of gas, Darby told me to let him out of the car and wait for him at the station so he could get out and help these total strangers push their car up the road so they could fill up their tank.  I've seen people with flat tires or out of gas on the side of the road before, and - as I've sped past them in a self-imposed rush, to get to whatever super important destination I'm headed to- I've often wondered to myself what sort of person actually puts their life on hold to help a stranger in a predicament like that.  It was in this moment, watching Darby help those people with their car, that I realized I don't just know what sort of person is willing to perform such a gracious act; I get to call this sort of person my partner. As gross as this blister picture is, it served to motivate me to put extra effort into his care package this week. A man willing to treat blisters for strangers is certainly deserving of homemade jerky, trail mix, and baked goods to help him keep moving forward.
*Also, little handy side note to anyone suffering blisters (courtesy of mountain-man Darby): put a piece of thread through it so it can air out without bursting or worsening.*

Picture number 2: Darby posing with his gear, all cleaned up and well rested after a night in the hotel in Julian.
This one left me with a far simpler internal response: Darby looks awesome in trail gear. I need to join him on the trail ASAP. I seriously miss that smile. Must.Buy.Plane.Ticket.NOW.

These pictures from Darby got my butt in gear to accomplish a lot of important tasks the last couple days. First and foremost, I bought myself that plane ticket! I'm visiting Darby May 13-16, hopefully somewhere near enough to Ontario that we can even get a little tunnel flying in at the fancy-shmancy, super-fast iFly tunnel that recently opened there.  He sounded just as excited as I felt when I told him the good news today during our call.

The second big step that I took is definitely for the best, but it has left me with a lot of mixed emotions. For months, I have been brushing aside my family's concerns about my health and putting off further testing or treatment until after I finish out the school year. I don't think it makes sense to see a doctor for treatment here in West Palm Beach, only to move to Orlando in June and need a new doctor there.  I tried to comfort my family by promising them that I would deal with it after I finish the school year and move, citing a sense of duty and obligation to my students (particularly to get them through to the AP exam). After six years of chronic back and leg pain before finally getting a spinal fusion,  I got pretty good at sweeping health problems under the rug and turning chronic issues into a "new normal" until things got so bad they simply couldn't be ignored anymore.

This week, I had a couple wake up calls that caused me to change my tune about this and to finally make a change that gave some comfort to my family. My health has gotten to the point that it isn't just uncomfortable at best, painful at worst, and inconvenient on a regular basis; now, I'm starting to see that my digestive issues have gone beyond a day-to-day hassle to plan around, and have become a legitimate health concern. This past week's extreme flare up, with nearly constant nausea and the inability to consume and tolerate more than one small meal a day, has made me feel pretty weak and malnourished. It doesn't feel sustainable and manageable anymore to just call this health status my "new normal." The extra incentive to be more proactive about finding a solution to my health problems came from all of my day-dreaming about camping and hiking for a week or two at a time this summer with Darby. I can't imagine handling the trail without being able to consume more than 500 calories a day, and don't get me started on the unpleasantries of 10-12 daily "bathroom breaks" in the woods. No thanks; hard pass. Ulcerative colitis isn't exactly a walk in the park (see what I did there?), and it's time to finally nip this in the bud so I can have a more "normal" existence and hopefully make it out onto the trail later this summer.

So with all of this in mind, I resolved to make a change sooner rather than later. I gave notice at work that my last day will be the day after my students finish their AP exam. I will help my students get through their dreaded AP World History test (I'm obviously not telling them until after the exam, to keep them focused and distraction-free), then I visit Darby for a brief weekend visit, and then I have my first appointment with the Center for Digestive Health in Orlando. Baby steps.

My third big step(/accomplishment?) in line with my goals Off the PCT this week required a significant amount of time, effort, and TLC: creating a perfect care package for Darby, to be waiting for him at mile 179ish in Idyllwild. I made good use of my dehydrator, first with tangerines to add to a homemade trail mix, then with ground beef for him to rehydrate and add to meals for dinner, and of course lastly with my first attempt at beef jerky (which I've honestly never even tried before because it just seemed way too much like dog treats for me to get enthusiastic or even curious about). I also baked him enough of his favorite cookies (brown sugar chocolate chip cookies, extra gooey and soft just the way he likes them) so he can share and spread some trail magic with friends. To top it off, I went to the dollar store and picked up some extra things I know he likes (and some things that seemed just weird/gross enough that I imagine he would enjoy trying them out on the trail). Lastly, I  threw in some stamps, paper and envelopes (because, you know, I'm subtle like that). I may have gone a little overboard... Here are some pictures of the goodies that will be waiting for him in Idyllwild:

 

 

 

I really did have fun experimenting with the dehydrator, and I'm excited to try out some new things to send for his next big resupply.  Preparing things to send him and imagining his experience opening the package, knowing how cared for and supported he is, and then sharing the love with friends and fellow-hikers...I loved every second of it. It made the time fly by this week, and I felt incredibly close to Darby, despite not being able to communicate and having so much physical distance between us. I'm actually looking forward to the next package and trying to come up with ways to top this one. I can't wait for him to get to Idyllwild Monday or Tuesday to open it and see all the fun surprises inside! I'm also super-excited for him to get to Idyllwild because, after today's talk, I probably won't get to hear from him until he lands in Idyllwild in the next 4 or 5 days. Walk fast, Tommy Lee Jones! Patience isn't exactly my strong suit. 

That about sums up the big developments for the week, on and off the trail. I'll update further when there's more to share :)


p.s.  something fun to share- I was reading the trail blog of a couple who is about a half day behind "Tommy Lee Jones", just landing in Warner Springs late yesterday (though they are staying and taking a zero day there, I think, so they probably won't run into  him until after he takes a weekend off to see me :). This couple (blog found here http://teeheepct.blogspot.com/2016/04/day-9-april-28th.html) is the same couple that posted about a "Daniel" leaving the trail on day 3 when I was worried and hadn't heard from him. Here they are, pictured with two of the people Darby stayed with when he overnighted in Julian! It's Chips and Brianna (who now has the trail name "Guac", because Chips and Guac go well together!) Guess Darby was right that there was something blossoming, because they are now apparently an item! Looking at a stranger's blog and seeing people I have heard about and seen pictures of (remember that picture I posted of Darby in his room with two trail buddies in the background? this is them!)  reminds me what a tight community the PCT is and what a small world 2700 miles of trail turns out to be when everyone shares a common goal and lifestyle.