It Starts...

This morning, I said goodbye to my boyfriend, filled with mixed emotions - mostly excitement, happiness for him, and admittedly a bit of a heavy heart. I may go as long as four or five months without seeing Darby while he journeys onward to conquer the Pacific Crest Trail. 

Darby has spent most of his adult life dreaming of this experience, and he has devoted countless hours meticulously planning this journey over the last eight months. I have spent nearly that long trying to process what this journey will mean for our still relatively new relationship. It wasn't until this past weekend that I began to formulate a plan for how I will spend this time apart, to ensure we both continue to grow as individuals, and in the same direction, though we'll be separated by thousands of miles, with lifestyles that seem worlds apart.
 
 (Left: Darby, showing off the PCT he'll be conquering; Right: Me, showing off my PCT keychain, so I can keep track of his journey from anywhere and everywhere)

Darby has started a blog - http://darbyonthepct.blogspot.com - that his Bubbie will be updating while he treks from Mexico to California. He will be eating strange foods, sleeping under a tarp, walking around 20 miles a day, pooping while propped against trees, and seeing the world from a perspective few are lucky enough to experience. Just imagining his journey excites me (and admittedly fills me with envy).

Since he told me about his plan to hike the trail, I wished I could join and experience it alongside of him, seeing and feeling nature the way that he will get to each day until he reaches Canada. Unfortunately, my circumstances prevent me from joining him for the full trail (the greatest hindrance being my wonderful but needy 11 year old lab mix named Chilly, whom I naturally cannot bring myself to part with for such a long period of time).

After I accepted that Darby would be embarking on this journey without me, I began to worry he would experience so much growth, and he would make so many incredible memories that I simply couldn't be a part of, that we would grow apart, or - worse - he would outgrow me. As our last day together arrived, I finally realized that I could do more over these four months than just wallow over not being on the PCT, too.

As meticulously as he researched gear choices and weighed and measured toothbrushes and tarp stakes, I researched what people do to cope with staying behind while their significant others tackle the trail. Surprisingly, there isn't all that much out there from the perspective of the S.O. To be fair, there are some articles or guides to the hiker for how to best prepare the S.O. for that time apart and for the post-trail depression that most people experience upon completion; but I wasn't able to find much (or anything, really) written by the individual staying behind and living the boring everyday life while the significant other adventures across California, Oregon, and Washington. The articles I found didn't really speak directly to the experience that I feel so unprepared for, nor do they provide the desired "how-to-grow-while-staying-put" guide that I was really seeking.

And so begins this blog: my attempt at chronicling life OFF the PCT (though with a trip ON the PCT thrown in here or there, if/when I can make it work), and suggestions for what to do (or not do) while a significant other embarks on the PCT. Generally, my goals include but are not limited to the following (and I anticipate they will likely change through trial and error and the unexpected, too): 

• Stay involved and connected despite limited access to communication and thousands of miles between us
• Acquire the skills and put them into action to be the best darn Trail Angel off the PCT
• Grow as an individual - emotionally, physically, etc. - despite the absence of a 2700+ mile journey to self-reflect while appreciating nature 

More specifically, I plan to: write (and hopefully receive) a fair amount of love letters; keep lists of stupid little things to make sure to fill Darby in on when we do catch up on the phone so we don't lose the day to day connection that's so fluid and effortless now; enjoy a short but fun off-trail weekend visit with Darby; experience a week on the PCT, in Darby's element, and at Darby's pace; learn to use my dehydrator to make healthy and delicious(?) meals and snacks to ship to Darby; take up yoga and build up some much needed strength; improve my skydiving and tunnel-flying; settle into life in Orlando (make some friends, join some things, get a new job, etc.); do some self-reflecting and self-improvement. Oh! And blog about all of it.

Shouldn't be too hard to get this all done in the next 4ish months, right?
RIGHT!-- except the blogging part. I've always been terrible at keeping up with a diary, so this should be an interesting challenge.

This woman's journey off the PCT starts here and now.